Monday, October 23, 2006

Allister Farious "Cares for the Community"

Appearing in the Beaver County Gazette, Oct 23rd 1940.

Allister Farious, evil-industrialist candidate for mayor of Aliquippa, has released his first campaign ad today. The ad, "Caring for the Community" highlights Allister's vision for Aliquippa and touches on some of the "fat" he has given the economy to "chew on."

"The people of Aliquippa deserve a strong leader who knows how to make people love him!" Allister said in a press conference held for the unveiling of the ad. "I'm a freaking nigh-immortal gypsy, who wouldn't want that as mayor?"

The ad is largely positive, choosing to take the high-road in what has become an otherwise dirty campaign. Farious' opponent, Edsel Intrepid, has shown a gain in the polls in the recent months as many voters discover how weak and hapless he truly is.

Intrepid, a one-time librarian now spending much of his elder years in the basement, doesn't have a press secretary that could be reached for comment. It is expected, however, that he will be rolling out his own ad within the week.

To listen to Farious' ad, click here.