Appearing in the Beaver County Gazette, Oct 30rd 1940.
Edsel Intrepid, geriatric candidate for mayor of Aliquippa, has responded to his opponent's surprisingly upbeat campaign ad with an ad he has titled "Carpetbagger." The Gazette has been informed that Intrepid is the first of the two candidates to use negative campaign tactics. This comes as no surprise, since he spends most of his time in a basement, cut off from the rest of the world.
"I just haven't been as popular since people don't know I'm a time traveler... so I figured the best way to get back in people's graces is to attack Mr. Farious," Intrepid said in an exclusive interview with Gazette intern Tug Horsense. "He's a carpetbagger! He thinks he can come to Aliquippa from Prussia and take over? That wouldn't be very good for anyone."
Edsel has been trailing in the polls ever since he was trounced in a debate with Farious last June. Since that time, the two candidates have been out on the town holding rallies and giving stump speeches. With less than a week to go before the election, Intrepid trails by upwards of 35 points.
Pollster Richard Carlton weighed in on the race, saying, "It's going to be like David and Goliath... only this time, Goliath is going to really pulverize David. Really, Intrepid doesn't stand a chance."
Edsel Intrepid, currently employed by his grandson, Dodge Intrepid, looks to make a last ditch campaign effort during this last week of the campaign. Will he be able to win the hearts of the voters on November 4th? We'll just have to wait and see.
To listen to Intrepid's ad, click here.